Sunday, November 28, 2010
{ 7:20 AM }
i think i'm getting more and more attracted to you. i'm wondering what kind of feelings i have towards you..i can't be sure. i'm so scared i'll fall for you. i know i shouldn't, but i am afraid i can't help it..
Tonight by fm staticI remember the times we spent together
All those drives, we had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York everything felt right
I wish you were here with me,
Tonight
I remember the days we spent together,
Were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight
I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late
I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus, and how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad, sometimes
Not having you here
I sing
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight
I sing
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight
you're a secret i am trying hard to hide.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
{ 11:14 AM }
i feel so useless. like i'm unable to help. like no matter how hard i tried, there are always problems with whatever i do.
i know i shouldn't feel that way. i mean when people criticise, they help you to improve. but why do i feel this way? i just feel so useless, so helpless..what can i do to help? what can i do to make everything better? i cannot do anything, i think i just made everything worse. it's just me.
they say that god made everyone special and he or she has his or her own worth. until now, i still haven't found my worth. and i wonder why he made me? maybe he forgot to take me, the flawed one, out of his creations.
sorry, forgive me for being like that- a disgrace to the people around me.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
{ 7:37 PM }
work is accumulating, emotions are collecting with no place to express..sometimes i just feel so suffocated. it's like the next moment i might just die. there's nobody to listen because everyone's so busy with their own lives. i mean yea, some would stop if you ask them to, but do you want to trouble them?
i figured out that pretending was the best way out. you don't want to make your love ones worried, you don't want your friends to think that you're being such a weird person and always being such an emotional burden to them since they are already busy or troubled enough. i should just put up a happy and strong front. it will make matters so much better, for me and for the people around me. but it's so difficult! the elements of live keeps tearing me up..i feel so overwhelmed.
I WANT TO SCREAM OUT LOUD but i cannot. i want to hide in a corner and cry but i scared people might find me. i want to sleep forever and never to wake up but i cant bare to leave everything behind. is what i am doing now really what i want?
should i give up, or keep on trying? just pretending nothing is happening to me..
you taught me to be strong, i tried but i am failing. does it matter anymore when nobody cares?
